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Band 2.5

In some cultures, the old age is more valued, while in some cultures the youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#cultures #age #youth
There is an opinion that for
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
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 old
ages
 are more important than
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 period of
life
. Opposite
this
, some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
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 that young
ages
 are more valuable.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 it would
been
Change the verb form
be
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 discussed
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of these
ages
. Taking into account all advantages of the older time of
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
life
, I still tend to that
youth
 is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 significant time for
people
.
Firstly
, it would be noticed that at older
ages
people
 have more practical knowledge about how to take
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decisions in hard moments of
life
. Adults think more rational than the
youth
,
for example
, it's seen by their financial literacy. But sometimes
it's look
Change the verb form
it looks
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 like formally routine
life
, while they don't do interesting and memorable impressions. On another hand, young
ages
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 to
people
 more chances to explore
this
 world, because
youth
 have all creativity and energy to do more new things. In conclusion, I believe that all the revolutionary new ideas
comes
Change the verb form
come
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 to
person
Add an article
a person
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 when he or she is young. And due to these
ages
Add a comma
,ages
show examples
people
 can live happier that time when they became older, that's
Add an article
the way
show examples
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
 I believe that
youth
 is more important.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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