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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #school #parents
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Nowadays, the better life is, the more
children
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 have an unhealthy way of life.
This
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 common phenomenon has raised a question that both schools and
parents
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 should take responsibility to tackle
this
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 issue and I totally agree with
this
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 idea for several reasons. on the one hand, many experts have pointed out that an unhealthy lifestyle is a life without outdoor activities, using gadget devices for hours, consuming fewer vegetables and white meat. As my observation, the majority of
children
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 are always glued to smart devices and they have no interest in taking part in any outdoor activities or doing exercise, and consume a lot of fast
food
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 as well as have a high-fat diet resulting in an increasing rate of obese and autism
children
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. One of the main causes is
parents
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 today are so busy at work and they just spend less
time
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 on their offspring.
Furthermore
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, the price of everything is rising vertically so
parents
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 have to sacrifice their
time
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 earning money for livelihood. For the
children
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’s meal, they prefer giving
children
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 money to buy
food
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 at
food
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 stalls
instead
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 of cooking a highly nutritious meal.
Children
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 who lack essential knowledge about society are easily trapped by attractive
food
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 which is low in nutrition and high in carcinogenic factors.
on the other hand
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, schools and
parents
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 should take action immediately in order to save
children
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 from potentially severe diseases. One of the
parents
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 should take annual leave to spend
time
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 monitoring their kids and help them do some exercises every day so that it can be transformed into the daily habit of their offspring.
Moreover
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, the
time
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 for gadgets should be limited and
children
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 should be encouraged social activities with friends and family.
On the other hand
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, Teachers should warn and punish students heavily when they use illegal drugs. To sum up,
parents
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 and school should be responsible for the
children
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’s development as well as their health.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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