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Band 5

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

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Introduction
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the lack of
money
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 management
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 of graduating high
school
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. I think we need to tackle the root cause and formulate some solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Body paragraph 1
With respect to the reason, the
school
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 teaching
programe
Correct your spelling
programme
program
 is considered the main drive. Most of the schools put much more attention on academic achievements than on life skills, so they
arrage
Correct your spelling
arrange
 a
hetic
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hectic
schedule
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 for some compulsory subjects like Math, Physic or Literature which makes students do not have time to practice
softskill
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soft skill
soft skills
soft-skill
, especially
money
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 management
skill
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. The terrible
schedule
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high
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of high
show examples
school
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studen
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student
students
 in Korea can be cited as a convincing example. They even do not have enough time to eat and sleep because they are in a competition to win a place in a reputed university which means they do not have many opportunities to use
money
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 as well as do not know how to manage it.
Thus
Linking Words
,
school
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programe
Correct your spelling
programme
 is the main root.
Body paragraph 2
While the
darksides
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dark sides
dark side
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem are widely acknowledged, there are some solutions to it, especially adding a subject to teach students
manage
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to manage
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 their own
money
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. The
school
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 can invite some celebrities or famous CEOs to tell their stories about
money
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 and
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student
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students
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 cant
learn
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to learn
show examples
 from their experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, Vinschool which is a
prestigous
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prestigious
school
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 in Vietnam
have
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has
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 taken place
the
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apply
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finance classes every Wednesday with an eclectic mix of interesting activities to help
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student
Add an article
the student
a student
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 learn about how to
saving
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save
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 and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
money
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 in the right way .
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools can fix their
schedule
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 to enhance their
student
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 ‘s
money
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 management
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the shortage of
this
Linking Words
skill
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 in students is caused by
various
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a various
the various
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factor
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factors
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, specifically the stressful
schedule
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, it can be solved
by
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in
show examples
 some ways

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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