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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In most parts of the world, people are living longer. What is the possible cause of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parts #world #people #situation #development
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It is said that a plethora of individuals
are
Change the verb form
is
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 living longer, in
this
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 contemporary era.
However
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, from my point of view, it is a negative development. In
this
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 essay, I will explore the probable reason for
this
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 circumstance and would like to
further
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 explain my stand. To commence with, I reckon the main feature for people who are living more than
the
Change preposition
in the
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 past is scientific progress. A
lot
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 of novel and efficient medicines have been produced by scientists.
For example
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, a study which has been conducted by WHO illustrates that Americans in the
last
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 decade have lived approximately 10 years more than before. There are a large number of new remedies which help old ones to live longer. As I mentioned before, I refuse to agree that the statement has positive development. It is obvious that there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of newborn babies annually.
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Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 old people are dying out less. In another word, the world's population will be increased dramatically. Since there are restricted sources like water, food, fuel, etc., it can cause a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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.
For instance
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, if powerful governments don't have sufficient water for
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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, they might start a war with other countries to supply their residents with water.
This
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 can cause a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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 all over the world. To sum up, everything that has been stated so far,
although
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 it is a blessed happening that we can spend more time with our beloved ones, it has some cons and unpleasant impacts that I mentioned one of them.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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