In most parts of the world, people are living longer. What is the possible cause of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?

It is said that a plethora of individuals
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
living longer, in
this
contemporary era.
However
, from my point of view, it is a negative development. In
this
essay, I will explore the probable reason for
this
circumstance and would like to
further
explain my stand. To commence with, I reckon the main feature for people who are living more than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past is scientific progress. A
lot
of novel and efficient medicines have been produced by scientists.
For example
, a study which has been conducted by WHO illustrates that Americans in the
last
decade have lived approximately 10 years more than before. There are a large number of new remedies which help old ones to live longer. As I mentioned before, I refuse to agree that the statement has positive development. It is obvious that there are a
lot
of newborn babies annually.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
old people are dying out less. In another word, the world's population will be increased dramatically. Since there are restricted sources like water, food, fuel, etc., it can cause a
lot
of
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
.
For instance
, if powerful governments don't have sufficient water for
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
, they might start a war with other countries to supply their residents with water.
This
can cause a
lot
of
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
all over the world. To sum up, everything that has been stated so far,
although
it is a blessed happening that we can spend more time with our beloved ones, it has some cons and unpleasant impacts that I mentioned one of them.
Submitted by aylarsheikholeslami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: