IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Living in big cities is bad for people's health. What extend do you agree and disagree?

#cities #people #health
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The statement above is very broad. There are many reasons behind a person's well-being failure. It can be a bad diet, unhealthy lifestyle, and living in big
cities
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 might be one of its.
Nevertheless
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, I am more than sure that living in big
cities
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 is only the trigger cause, not the real reason behind a person's
health
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 problem. Of course, living in big
cities
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 has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages, indeed, it is easier to access any public facilities
such
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 as transportation,
health
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 care centre, shopping mall, school, and any other public facilities. At least it happens in my country, which is the inadequate infrastructure still becomes a problem. Now mention about the disadvantages,
firstly
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,
people
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 who are living in big
cities
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 usually commute some distance between home and workplace. It can lead to much time wasted on the way back and forth.
In addition
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,
people
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also
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 work 9 to 5 and sometimes overtime, indeed these lead to a not very good lifestyle. They tend to eat processed food or anything easier to get without looking after their
health
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.
Also
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, as far as I know, only a smaller number of busy
people
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 like I mention above doing exercise to maintain their
health
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. They are too tired to do anything on their day off.
Consequently
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, if
people
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 in big
cities
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 continued to live like that, there is no doubt that they would experience
health
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 problems in the future.
Finally
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, it is not living in big
cities
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 that make
people
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 experience a
health
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 problem, but, it comes from the demand of living in big
cities
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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