Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that the younger generation does not understand practical work and schools should arrange field works accompanied by academic studies. In my opinion, institutions at any level of student development should implement hands-on activities to adapt them to the future reality, foster their hard and soft
skills
in harmony, and give them the freedom of choice to start their careers earlier. With the rapid advancement of technology, more and more educators and scientists come up with modern teaching methods and instruments like cognitive education, project-based methods or active learning.
Moreover
, their inventions give opportunities for educational bodies all over the world to improve students’ results and focus more on their career development.
For example
, in Kazan, ISL boarding
school
implemented a project-based system incorporating real-life applications.
As a result
, their pupils enhanced their academic foundations and significantly improved their communication and critical thinking
skills
throughout
this
program.
Furthermore
, cutting-edge technologies give the opportunity to learn more professional
skills
at the click of a button and apply them on a daily basis. Institutions can be transformed with the help of educational platforms like Coursera and Udemy which are open to the youth with reasonable prices and flexible deadlines.
For instance
, one public
school
in Moscow, in 2016, bought yearly subscriptions for middle and high
school
students, encouraging them to accomplish at least one desired course.
This
improvement was a life-changing moment for three Year 11 students whose team application won in a start-up competition and they were invited to work as Junior Developers after
school
. In conclusion, in our modern world educational institutions should be more open-minded and flexible to implement alternative teaching methods and integrate into their curriculum more practice rather than theory. In my opinion, schools should take advantage of technology as well, teaching youngsters how to use it effectively and learn quickly new life-long
skills
.
Submitted by gainutdin87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
While the introduction presented the topic clearly, it can be enhanced by providing a brief outline of the main points discussed in the body, setting clear expectations for the reader.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that aligns with the main argument. This will guide the reader better through your points.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of the topic, clearly outlining the need for practical work within the school curriculum.
relevant specific examples
The examples given are highly relevant and illustrate the points effectively, adding depth and authenticity to the arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The essay is well-organized, with a strong introduction and a thoughtful conclusion that reinforces the main argument.
logical structure
The logical progression of ideas makes the essay easy to follow, and transitions between paragraphs are handled smoothly.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: