Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are those who opine that the practice of spending too much
time
in shopping centres could be detrimental for young
people
and
society
as a whole. I fully agree with
this
view. In my opinion, if youngsters spend too much
time
shopping or in
malls
, it can hurt not only their grades but
also
their financial situation because shopping requires both
time
and money. When young
people
become obsessed with shopping, they will find themselves in serious financial difficulties. If they hang out in the
malls
, they will want to buy many things even if they do not really need them. As shopping requires money, youngsters will have to find a source of income.
Consequently
, some of them may choose to
work
part-
time
or some might even quit their
studies
and
work
full
time
. Both are detrimental to their academic progress and career. Working part-
time
will reduce the amount of
time
they can focus on their
studies
and
thus
affect their grades. Now if they choose to quit
studies
to
work
full
time
, they will seriously hurt their career prospects as well-paying jobs require at least a university degree. Some young
people
may choose not to
work
.
Instead
, they will get into crimes
such
as robbery. Obviously, spending excessive
time
in
malls
has a seriously negative impact on young
people
. Excessive shopping
also
affects
society
. It leads to excessive consumption which is detrimental to the environment.
Also
, when young
people
are obsessed with spending, they will fall into the debt trap.
This
is bad for
society
as well. When they cannot find enough money to fulfil their shopping goals or to pay off their debts caused by excessive shopping, youngsters may get into illegal activities like robbery, shoplifting or even smuggling. All of these have a detrimental effect on
society
. In short, shopping is good so long as it is done in moderation. If young
people
spend an excessive amount of
time
in
malls
, they will not have much
time
to focus on their
studies
and they will
also
fall into debt. Obviously,
this
hurts them as well as their
society
.
Submitted by mathewtp1969 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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  • thirdly
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  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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