IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #lives
It is generally believed by many
people
 that the
Internet
 is the root of
people
’s seclusion from their
society
. From my perspective,
this
 idea is completely flawed owing to the benefits in terms of communication and knowledge acquisition that the
Internet
 offers.
Firstly
, I would argue that the
Internet
 is one of the most powerful facilitators in communication. At the moment, numerous websites
such
 as Facebook or Yahoo offer much faster and more convenient services for users to keep in touch with their friends and relatives regardless of geographic distance. These websites create an online network
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 connects everyone within their users’ social circle and enables them to send instant messages or to make video calls in a few seconds no matter where they are.
People
,
therefore
, can enjoy both the convenience and the swiftness that those services provide.
Secondly
, I believe the
Internet
 has empowered
people
 to acquire more knowledge about their
society
 than ever before. As a matter of fact, it is able to bring every aspect of life to
people
, which I think is valuable because
people
 will have a closer look at how their
society
 really is.
Latest
Correct article usage
The latest
show examples
 news about sports, education or criminals
for example
 is updated constantly in many online sources that are open to everyone.
This
 easy accessibility equips
people
 with sufficient information,
in other words
, they are more aware of the problems
lying
Replace the word
lie
show examples
 within their
society
. In conclusion, as the two analyzed reasons above, I strongly disagree with the idea that
Internet
 users are drifting away from their lives because of the online service
Submitted by akshay.thakare2804 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: