IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school . To what extend do you agree of disagree ?

Children in high school are at the age of their growth, and they should be kept in a process of continuous examination. At that time, they are getting ready for the outer world, which is like a rat race, and it will be helpful. I firmly agree, because it will make them grow intellectually and will
also
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 affect their decision-making
skills
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.
Firstly
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, kids learn faster than adults. In schools, if a kid has been taught some
skills
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 which can be useful in future.
Moreover
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, they can learn karate or computing
skills
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 or good communication, or their personality can be moulded in the schools, and the exams for the learn
skills
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 will improve it, and will make it better, or they will learn from the mistakes.
For instance
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, in the UK, research was held that the
skills
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 which are taught since childhood and examined at a young age in school,
while
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 the other
group
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 was of adults, who were taught the same, but had a weaker result.
Secondly
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, the decision-making of the children who are being tested or asked to sit in the exam at a young age is more confident. The people can make a quick decision as their fight or flight responses are quick since childhood.
For example
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, the research was held between the
group
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 who were asked to sit in the exam and the other
group
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 who weren't. The results showed enormous differences between the groups, and the
group
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 that did sit had the better result.
To conclude
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, I firmly agree, the children in high school must give exams to grow independently.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to it. This helps the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Provide more examples and details to explain your points. This would make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Add a few linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'additionally', and 'in conclusion'. This helps the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The writer clearly expresses their agreement with the topic, which is a good start.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main points, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rigorous
  • work ethic
  • disciplined approach
  • invaluable
  • higher education
  • continuous feedback loop
  • academic weaknesses
  • life skills
  • time management
  • stress management
  • over-assessment
  • stress and anxiety
  • practical skills
  • academic evaluation
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