IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main cause of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

#countries #amount #crime
Committing a
crime
 is one of the horrible evils that still exists in mankind.Any action that is irresponsible and creates unrest in society can be considered a
crime
.There are many kinds of
crime
,
For example
, Hate
crime
 and crimes of vengeance etc.I agree that the
crime
 rate is increasing in the
world
 and I will give my opinion below.
Firstly
, Many offences are committed in anger because
people
 are not able to control their aggression.Many felonies that are committed are associated with bad habits like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
drug and alcohol use because
people
 with problems of substance abuse
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are reported not to have control over their body and their feelings.
In addition
 to
this
, Crimes are increasing as
people
 are becoming more and more intolerant, towards other religions, communities etc. I think the solution for
this
 needs to address on many levels.There should be strict laws to stop the abuse of hallucinating substances and citizens, mainly the youth of a country should be educated more regarding
this
 subject.
People
 should start loving other
people
 and respect their traditions. In conclusion, I want to see a
world
 where there is no
crime
 at all and I wish that humans should respect each other so that
this
world
 will be a better place.A
world
 without
crime
 might sound idealistic but I think humans are capable of
this
 and everyone should take social and moral responsibility to achieve
this
 goal.
Submitted by saitheja.p on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: