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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The growth of online shoppong will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shoppong #shops #towns #cities
It is true that Numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 prefer to buy
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 online
shops
 for their
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
.
however
, I strongly disagree that every
stores
Change to a singular noun
store
show examples
 will be closed in the future. There are two primary factors to support
this
 perspective : consumers preference and
inconvenient
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inconvenience
show examples
 for old generations.
To begin
 with, Vanity of customers prefer to buy
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 visual
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
 rather than internet
shops
. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why
people
 like
about
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apply
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it.
This
 is because
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of consumers are not sure about their size, clothes colour and design. Individuals want to try their clothes, so they can figure out what they truly want.
Moreover
, websites have a limit that they are able to
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 their products.
therefore
,
buyer
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buyers
show examples
 make
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 to purchase their items.
For example
,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
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 of
people
 have experiences
about
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with
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refund
Correct article usage
the refund
show examples
 process
from
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apply
show examples
online. It takes a while to get your product and hard to get
refund
Add an article
a refund
the refund
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except
Add the preposition
forexcept
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 major
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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. For these reasons, visual products assist
people
’s decisions. On top of that, It is difficult to access
on
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apply
show examples
online
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 for elderly generations. Because they are not used to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 new technologies
such
 as purchase , refund ,
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
Add an article
the process
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process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, older
consumers’ve
Correct your spelling
consumers
 communicated in person
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 on websites, so they can get what they want right away.
However
, online
shops
 don’t respond immediately If they have
a
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apply
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some questions, they have to go through
chatting
Change the form of the verb
chat
show examples
 programs.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 it takes time to get their answer back.
Therefore
, old
people
 like to
shopping
Change the form of the verb
shop
show examples
 in person.
As a result
, some
people
 think visual
shops
 are more convenient than online. To sum up,
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
thee
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 reasons mentioned above, I think actual
shops
 provide benefits to
curtain
Correct your spelling
certain
show examples
 consumers. One more thing to keep in mind is that stores give us
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 idea of item selection than online
shops
.
Submitted by cyzhrkwudk on

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