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Writing Samples
Band 5

Behaviors in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes of this problem and suggest possible solutions.

#behaviors #schools
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It is undeniable that students tend to behave badly in school in recent years. There are several causes of
this
Linking Words
 alarming trend, but feasible measures could certainly be taken to tackle
this
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 problem. There are two main reasons why
attitude
Add an article
the attitude
an attitude
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 of pupils at school is becoming terrible.
First
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 of all, the major cause of
this
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 issue is the lack of discipline.
This
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 means that
teachers
Use synonyms
inclined
Add a missing verb
are inclined
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 to have no authority and clear rules to control the disruptive students who feel free to show disrespect, interfere with teaching activities, use mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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class and hurl verbal abuse. Another important factor contributing to
this
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 issue is
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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 of children at home. As the matter of fact, if children regularly show
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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disturbing emotion to their family members, they will tend to be like that at school as well. Since
such
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 issues are serious, the
teachers
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 and
parents
Use synonyms
 should take steps immediately to address these problems. One step is that the teacher will enforce
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 set of rules
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every type of misbehaving. In
this
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 way, students would be harshly punished if they have any rude
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 to not only the
teachers
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 but
also
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 their peers. Another measure would be for
parents
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 to spend more time with their sons and daughters.
As a result
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, children will have a good grasp of how to behave
good
Change the adjective
well
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 with others thanks to experiences and stories they get from their
parents
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. In conclusion, while there are evident reasons that bring about
this
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 phenomenon, I believe that great efforts from
teachers
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,
parents
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 and communities are necessary to reverse the trend.
Submitted by Nhathanh0510 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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