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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high schools students are encouraged to make comments or even critisism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #quality #schools #students #comments #critisism #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom
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It is argued that improving educational standards has become mandatory in
this
 contemporary era and pupils are encouraged to give information regarding teaching
methods
 and how they are taught in classes by tutors,
whereas
, some people are opposite of
this
 notion. I believe teaching
methods
 should be rectified if required in order to raise educational quality and I will discuss both sides of the essay in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, folks who opine
student's
Change noun form
student
show examples
feedback
 not only becomes a cause of interruption in discipline but
also
 loss of respect are considering that certain
students
 may utilize
this
 opportunity to target teachers personally rather than offering constructive criticism.
For example
, if a
student
 is not studying well in class and gets punished by a
teacher
 who did
this
 for his/her bright future
then
 the
student
 might provide
feedback
 negatively to get revenge from the
teacher
,
therefore
,
although
this
 technique can increase class standards with the help of
students
feedback
, sometimes it can have a negative impact on
teacher
 image and class discipline. On the other side, it is always thought that why does teaching
feedback
 seem mandatory?
This
 is because encouraging
students
 to provide
feedback
 can help identify teaching
methods
 that are ineffective, leading to adjustments that enhance learning.
For example
, some teaching government jobs are obtained by giving money and people do not have appropriate skills in order to teach schoolers.
Also
, tutors lack teaching
methods
 and they do not know how to teach today's youth,
that is
 the reason
students
 should be asked to make comments to get high quality in the education system.
This
 method will bring a brilliant education system for the new generation. In conclusion,
although
student's
Change noun form
student
show examples
feedback
 might affect a good
teacher
's reputation
due to
 some
students
' revenge, we can not neglect the positive sides of
this
 initiative which will bring more valuable study techniques in coming years
due to
 current
students
' comments on teaching
methods
.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

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task achievement
Try to avoid repetition and rephrasing of ideas to improve the essay's clarity and comprehensiveness. For instance, don’t keep reiterating the idea of discipline loss without adding new insight.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support the main points. This will not only strengthen your arguments but also make the essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain the flow of the essay. While the logical structure is good, some transitions between ideas can be made clearer to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits and drawbacks effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating the writer's opinion and summarizing the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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