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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.
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The line graphs illustrate the information
of
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on
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 student enrollment, international and native in Australian universities from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that the total of local
students
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 was higher than foreign
students
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,
Although
Linking Words
 the commencing of natives was less than foreign
students
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. Apparently, the total number of international
students
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 noticeably increased from 20,000
students
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 to 80,000
students
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 in a decade.
While
Linking Words
 the commencing
students
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 were slightly rising from under 20,000
students
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 in 2001 to 20,000
students
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 in 2006.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there were continuously
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 up to 40,000
students
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 in 2009. It
is remain
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remains
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 constant through 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total enrollment of native admission was a significant increase from 400,000
students
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 in 2001 to 600,000
students
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 in 2007.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the graphs show remain stable at 600,000
students
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 from 2007 to 2010, which is three times higher than the commencing in 2010. There was a highest commencing in 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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