IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #devices #phones #tablets
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, there is much discussion with regard to
technology
Use synonyms
 devices. It is argued that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones, tablets and mobile phones have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of drawbacks.I completely disagree with it topic because the new
technology
Use synonyms
 has a
lot
Use synonyms
 of advantages
such
Linking Words
 as help the
people
Use synonyms
 reach the education and can help the
people
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 ,with the new
technology
Use synonyms
 can help everyone reach to the education
although
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 stay far from there.It means everyone can learn the class from everywhere so the population does not need to go there.
For instance
Linking Words
,Thai
people
Use synonyms
 who would like to learn a master's degree in the
UK
Use synonyms
 do not have money enough.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays they can learn master's degrees from a
UK
Use synonyms
 university in Thailand by learning via zoom
application
Use synonyms
 which is the
application
Use synonyms
 that can open the camera, share the document and teach together.
Hence
Linking Words
, Thai
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to go to the
UK
Use synonyms
 for studying and the
people
Use synonyms
 can save money by almost 1 million baths.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
application
Use synonyms
 of technological devices was developed to aid the
people
Use synonyms
 when the
people
Use synonyms
 have an
accident
Use synonyms
 or need to help.
For example
Linking Words
, the
application
Use synonyms
 in the IOS version has help mode when
people
Use synonyms
 have accidents. A good case in
this
Linking Words
 point, Older
people
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 who got an
accident
Use synonyms
 when he was cycling in the mountain at night. That time did not have a car or the
people
Use synonyms
 on the road in that mountain but he wore an apple watch which is the watch that can check disorders in the body who wears the watch.After that about 30 ,minutes the watch alert the family that older
people
Use synonyms
 got the
accident
Use synonyms
 and it can inform a location where he stayed.
Thus
Linking Words
, he was safe in
this
Linking Words
accident
Use synonyms
 because of the apple watch. In conclusion, I disagree whit it topic because
technology
Use synonyms
 devices have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of advantages
such
Linking Words
 as the
people
Use synonyms
 can learn from everywhere and can help
people
Use synonyms
 when getting an
accident
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I believe
technology
Use synonyms
 has the advantage more than disadvantages.
Submitted by suchaya211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • communication
  • access to information
  • efficiency
  • addiction
  • privacy concerns
  • distraction
  • isolation
  • screen time
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: