Many children nowadays are spending more and more time inside rather than outside. Is this a positive or negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your knowledge or experience

#children #time #trend

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It is often said that these days many children prefer to spend time in their own accommodation

instead

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of going out. From my point of view ,it can be a negative trend. I'm going to explain some reasons below.

Firstly

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, one of the main reasons for

this

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argument is becoming isolated.

For example

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,in most countries all around the world where we can see

high_quality

Correct your spelling

high-quality

technological gadgets ,children are spending a lot of time playing video games

as well as

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watching their favourite programmes on TV. Needless to say ,

this

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situation could create many problems

such

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as the lack of communication with other people.

Additionally

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,to stay at home scions will suffer from some mental disorders.

Therefore

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this

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makes it clear why it could have a deep detrimental impact on the public.

Secondly

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,another reason is becoming

disabled

Correct word choice

unable

show examples

to build a good relationship with others.

For instance

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,someone who spent noteworthy moments at home during his childhood will face multiple troubles to enter society.

Moreover

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,creating interaction with his classmates and colleagues will be difficult. These causes can persuade the population who live in the world to stop

consuming

Verb problem

spending

show examples

moments indoors always. Opening the doors and watching the world can help to have an extrovert personality and using imagination can be more effortless.

As a result

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,it becomes apparent there are numerous reasons behind each claim that we can not ignore. To summarise , I personally believe spending time at home can be harmful to a child. It is predicted that to continue

this

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activity by offspring they will

be faced

Wrong verb form

face

show examples

many physical and psychological problems in the near future.

Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on Mon Feb 28 2022

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to clearly state the stance on whether the trend is positive or negative.

task achievement

Expand on the reasons provided to further support the argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Many children nowadays are spending more and more time inside rather than outside. Is this a positive or negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your knowledge or experience

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Q. In many countries, it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The figure below is a town planning map, showing the likely positions of two new shopping centres as well as the various different zones and major transportation routes of the town.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.