IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents and family background have more influence than teachers on a young person's learning and academic achievement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#parents #background #influence #teachers #person #achievement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Young people's enthusiasm mostly comes from their family, mainly from the successful academic achievements of their elder siblings or their
parents
. Indeed, schooling is still an indispensable part of academic education for
children
 but education does not only come from schooling but
also
 their family, their friends, and personal experiences among many other ways. So I believe that
parents
 and family have more influence, as there is no doubt that they are the ones who will support everything important to their
children
 throughout their life.
Parents
 are the only people in their life for many
children
 during their
first
 few years of life but there are many different
teachers
 for many different kinds of subjects for them so not every teacher can have an influence on them but surely, every parent can.
Also
, it can say that
children
 can not stay with
teachers
 every day so, during their free time, they learn mostly from their
parents
.
For example
, most
children
 want to be like their
parents
 when they grow up is proving
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the influences of
parents
 on them.
However
, it is
also
 true that
children
 are
also
 influenced by their
teachers
.
Firstly
,
children
 spend most of their productive day at schools and
teachers
 educate them about various subjects
such
 as history and science.
Secondly
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 prepares relationships outside their family with a proper setting to learn how to
interactive
Replace the word
interact
show examples
 and communicate with peer
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 and how to compete and cooperate with one another without hurting them. To sum up, in terms of learning and academic achievements, it seems that
parents
 and family have more influence than
teachers
 on young people,
however
,
teachers
also
 have significant roles to play in academic education for
children
.
Submitted by Nobel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: