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Band 6.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
People
 have different views about how students can get good
jobs
 by graduating from university is the best way while other
people
 argue that having
experience
 and soft
skills
 is more advantageous. I personally believe that getting
experience
 and improving soft
skills
 is more necessary
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. On one side of the argument, there are various reasons why many
people
 believe that graduates from universities have more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 to get good
jobs
.
Firstly
 they thought that without a formal degree, it will be difficult to get good
jobs
.
Secondly
, having a good university degree can get you higher salaries than others from the start in certain fields.
Lastly
, some
jobs
such
 as doctors or lawyers need to have
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 to prove
having
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to have
show examples
qualification
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qualifications
show examples
 and required
skills
. Despite the above reasons,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that experiences and soft
skills
 are more important when working in
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
.Unlike old days, employers these days know the value of
experience
 over education in vocational fields.
For example
, many famous companies like Facebook or Google choose
people
 who have
experience
 and problems solving
skills
 over graduates from some
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
 universities. Other than that, having good communication
skills
 is vital in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 workplace
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 requires teamwork. With
this
 skill, a person can take a role of a leader and work better with others.It is a skill
that is
 highly regarded by companies and employers. In conclusion, university education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 still important for certain
jobs
 but it is not
ture
Correct your spelling
true
 when it comes to getting a good job is through by graduating is the best way. In my opinion,having occupational
experience
 and developing soft
skills
 is more important to get a good job.
Submitted by Nobel on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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