IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think money is the best gift to give youngsters, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The growth of
tourism
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 means that nowadays most
countries
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 have a tourist industry and for many ,
countries
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 it is an essential sector of their economy.
However
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, like any major industry,
tourism
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 may have some drawbacks. I strongly disagree that it rarely benefits
countries
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.
On the contrary
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, I am convinced that for several reasons, most
countries
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 derive great benefit from it. The most important reason is that
tourism
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 provides regular employment for many local people who might
otherwise
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 be unemployed. They can find work in restaurants or hotels, or with tourist agencies as guides or drivers,
for example
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, and earn regular wages.
This
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, in turn, means that they may be able to save money and improve their standard of living. The
second
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 reason is that tourists spend money in the country, and
this
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 allows local businesses
such
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 as restaurants, bars, and taxi companies to flourish. In turn, other businesses, food suppliers or petrol stations,
for instance
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,
may be
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maybe
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 established to provide services to support the companies which cater for tourists.
In other words
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, the whole economy of the region develops. The final reason why I am in favour of
tourism
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 is that visitors from outside bring fresh ideas and different ways of doing things to the local community.
Consequently
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, the local community may learn from tourists.
Likewise
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, visitors learn about the local people and culture and return home with a deeper understanding of the host country. In conclusion, I am firmly believing that government should encourage
tourism
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 because of the opportunities it offers for ordinary people to improve their quality of life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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