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Band 5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
Work
 and life balance is a hot topic in contemporary society. Some
people
 argue that making more
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 than having less leisure
time
 is crucial for being successful at the late stage in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life.
However
, some assert that having more free
time
 is more important.
This
 essay will outline both aspects and suggest my opinion. On the one hand, it is generally acknowledged by certain individuals that
people
 should earn more money for financial stability in the future. Free
time
 does not pay a bill. When
people
 are getting
Fix the agreement mistake
orders
show examples
order
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
,
although
 they want to
work
, they can not
work
 due to retirement. A survey conducted by the Korea Ministry of Labor has revealed that 30% of seniors who suffer from poverty regret that if it had not been for their leisure
time
, they would have shaved more money that support them. As the example clearly illustrates,
people
 should
work
 more than
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 free
time
 to prepare when they will become older. ​
On the other hand
, having free
time
 is essential to release stress in daily life. As stress is the most significant factor in causing the majority of diseases, If
people
 constantly
work
 without having leisure
time
, they might face burn-out syndrome, thereby leading to other major physical and mental illnesses
such
 as depression.
Therefore
, it is reasonable that
people
 need a certain amount of free
time
. ​ In conclusion, while I accept that earning money is an efficient means of maintaining living in the future, I would point out that
work
-life balance is the most important point. I suggest that
people
 should have various
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 and
work
 productively without stress.
Submitted by hiasince38 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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