IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop childrens’ life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #childrens’ #life #skills #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The development of children has been discussed and there are some disagreements over whether life skills are more developed when doing something more active or just reading. I strongly believe that the merits of active activities far outweigh the ones of reading. One of the main advantages of functional activities is to allow to better solve problems, communicate and work in groups, which are essential to companies nowadays.
For example
Linking Words
, when trying to fix something with the family, like a boat, it is necessary to think, share ideas, make an effort and help each other to get to a positive result, which is exactly what companies are looking for when hiring someone. Another key benefit is the increase in mental and body health. Exercising the body and the mind can bring countless positive consequences and even increase happiness.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is proved that sports can avoid diseases, increase well-being and improve focus.
Besides
Linking Words
, other activities related to arts,
such
Linking Words
 as drawing, allow creativity improvement and stress reduction, allowing the discovery of new talents as well.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 advantages of reading, one of which is the huge amount of content and knowledge available.
However
Linking Words
, the focus could be more on understanding,
such
Linking Words
 as having critical thinking, applying all
this
Linking Words
 information and discussing what was read, than only spending hours reading a huge amount of information passively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are videos and other types of materials to learn about new topics. In conclusion,
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 children becoming more active, some advantages can be the improvement of problem-solving, communication and interpersonal skills,
in addition
Linking Words
 to a healthier mind and body.
Although
Linking Words
 reading still is important, there is a trend to have a more active posture and use other forms of media to learn.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, the sooner children are exposed to real-life situations, the better they get at dealing with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by mariih_borges on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: