IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Experts say that walking is one of the best ways to maintain good health. however, nowadays people spend less time walking. What's the reason for this? What can be done to encourage people to spend more time walking?

#experts #health #people #time #reason
It is scientifically proven that everyday strolling significantly improves one's overall health condition,
however
, in recent years,
people
 tend to walk less and less.
This
 happens due to several reasons one of them being the abundance of available transportation and another is a passive lifestyle.
However
, mass promotion of a healthy lifestyle, accessibility and improvement of public walking areas can greatly encourage
people
 to walk more. The
first
 reason why
people
 aren't walking as much as they used to is the development of technologies and the growth of economies that provided public transportation and private cars that became affordable and widely popular. Whenever a person needs to be somewhere they opt for transportation to get there rather than walking because they benefit precious
time
 we value so much,
besides
, a ride in an air-conditioned car seems way more comfortable in the comparison with walking outside in the heat or sometimes rain or snow.
Secondly
, a lot of
people
 merely have no reason to go outside,
for instance
, nowadays many companies allow their employees to work from home,
also
 watching TV and spending
time
 scrolling social media is tempting leisure for many.
Nevertheless
, government programs promoting a healthy lifestyle and securing more places for outside activities can boost one's desire to spend more
time
 walking.
For example
, in Colombia, a city office has launched a program aimed to increase the city's canopy cover and
consequently
 reduce heat in walking alleys making it more enjoyable to walk outside. A study has shown that
this
 approach was effective as many
people
 emerged to the alleys spending more
time
 walking with their families. To summarize, despite scaling down of
time
 spent walking, by the temptation to use various means of commute,
people
 can be enticed to walk more by creating attractive places for walks.
Submitted by pastroman98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: