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Band 4.5

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #internet #communities
Nowadays the
internet
 is very advancing. Various inhabitants believe that the
internet
 has united
people
 whilst others suppose that the
internet
 does more alone in society. My essay will explain both opinions and show my view. On the one hand, society thinks that cyberspace is the reason of populace and groups become lonely. Some individuals are crazy about the
internet
.
Therefore
, they become more detached than in the past. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of inviting things in the hyperspace.
Thus
 a number of young and mature, especially juveniles have an incredible interest
absolutely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. In fact,
according to
 the
2019's
Change noun form
2019
show examples
 questionnaire in Urgench, approximately two-thirds ( at 66%) of individuals imagined that the
internet
 is the cause of
people
 becoming separated.
On the other hand
, several inhabitants suspect cyberspace joins citizens. If relatives of
people
 go to another country or far away, the
internet
 helps to connect them. On account of it,
people
 can chat every day. To cite an example, my close friend went to Russia 3 months ago, so the hyperspace has led to us having a conversation day after day.
As a consequence
, various
people
 believe that the
internet
 is useful to connect and talk
people
 each other. By way of conclusion, having considered
this
 more comprehensively, cyberspace does more detached
people
,
also
 join
people
 . I am quite inclined to the opinion that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 helps us to chat and connect with our close relatives and friends
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are more well-developed to present a clear overview of the essay. Support your main points with more precise and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You need to address the task more fully and develop your ideas with more clarity and depth. Ensure that your points are directly relevant to the topic and provide a more comprehensive discussion of both perspectives. Use specific examples to illustrate your points and consider the nuances of each perspective to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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