IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It should be more expensive to make sugary products less appealing to consumers in order to encourage them to consume less. Many manufactured foods and drinks contain high levels of sugar, which can cause many health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#products #consumers #foods #drinks #levels #sugar #health
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Health
Add an article
The health
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 of a person depends on various factors, from which one is
food
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. Some
people
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 do not understand the harm caused because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugary
products
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I shall put forward my opinion for
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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of
Change preposition
apply
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edibles to contain
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 sugar levels. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent time, there has been a study conducted to show that
people
Use synonyms
 have started facing health issues
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes and obesity are increasing day by day.
Also
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, when some fellows eat when they feel
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
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.
Furthermore
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,
instead
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 of developing strength and providing supplements to the body, they
tends
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tend
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 to decrease the immunity system. To illustrate, the diet plan of an athlete does not only contain proteins but
also
Linking Words
 necessary cabs, nutrients and they are advised to avoid
products
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 like cakes, pastries,
cokes
Correct your spelling
cakes
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 and canned juices.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 all is the effect of mouth-watering dishes available at a cheaper rate in mass quantities. Customers find it reliable rather than traditional
food
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 processes which takes
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 time for preparation. Groups who like to host a party includes
these
Change the determiner
this food
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food
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 on
high
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a high
the high
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 scale. These days,
food
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 bloggers are trying to promote different
varities
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varieties
 via
internet
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the internet
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. Awareness among the common
people
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 has become important. Complaints are raised by clients all across if the
products
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 are not suitable.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was an article in The Times of India, where
company
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the company
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 was
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a target
the target
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target
Wrong verb form
targeted
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 for false labels on the drink bottles. In conclusion, the rates of
such
Linking Words
 sugary
products
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 should be hiked up which would result in saving the young and elder from future health issues and encourage them towards a healthy diet.
Healthy
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A healthy
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 lifestyle should be the aim in the mind of
people
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.
Submitted by zankrut on

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