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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, do you agree or disagree?

#countries #teenagers #people #parents #time #work #home
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Some individuals, in certain countries, believe that there are so many social issues that involve young
kids
 between 13 and 18,
as a result
, adults choose to spend more hours at work than at home with their children. I agree with
this
 statement and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will write about the two main reasons why it is happening. The
first
 reason for social problems coming from these
kids
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is the result of the lack of quality
time
 with their
parents
.
For instance
, teenagers
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 more spare
time
 unsupervised will have less respect for their
parents
 and other grown-ups as
this
 will have a lot of negative effects and could potentially lead to where these
kids
 end up doing criminal activities. A recent study in Norway has shown that younger teenagers that spend more
time
 without having a parent around have a higher chance of joining a gang or even end up in jail than those that have their
parents
 present at home.
Last
 but not least, it is the amount of exposure to social media when the young generation is alone.
This
 will give sexual predators a larger chance of grooming these
kids
 on social media since they are left unsupervised for longer periods of
time
. In a lot of countries in Europe,
parents
 are facing these issues where children who have access to the internet have a much higher risk of being approached by paedophiles especially when they are left on the internet without a parent present. In conclusion,I once again agree with
this
 statement that children that are left alone have more social problems than those
kids
 that have supervision.
Therefore
, there is better for these individuals to have a parent that has the capability to spend more
time
 at home.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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