IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

#people #test #five #years
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Some individuals argue that retaking driver’s tests every five
years
Use synonyms
 should be enforced.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 statement has a positive and negative perspective because it can be a great system to find out a driver’s ability consistently, but
on the contrary
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, the cost of the
test
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 can be quite expensive.
Firstly
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, the pros of
this
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 argument are that it enables one to check the ability to drive frequently. Sometimes elderly people lose their skills because of physical and mental ageing. They can't react rapidly to situations or accidents and sometimes are unable to control their physical movement
while
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 driving.
In addition
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, their mental decisions are not always trustworthy.
For example
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, in Korea, there are thousands of accidents that result in uncontrolled physical reactions of elders.
This
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 results in a tragic situation,
such
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 as killing their young grandchildren sitting in the back seats of the car.
On the other hand
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, there are cons as well. Individuals have to take the driving
test
Use synonyms
 every five
years
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 and
this
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 can be very stressful for citizens who can't afford the price. Especially, if their jobs are related to driving vehicles.
For instance
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, if you are a taxi driver you have to pay a driving
test
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 fee every 5
years
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. Unfortunately, a large percentage of taxi drivers have low incomes compared to other jobs in Korea. It will be a huge pressure on the ones who have the right to regain their license frequently. In conclusion,
while
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 it is apparent that if the government forces people to take a driving
test
Use synonyms
 every five
years
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 the city will become safer, it is undeniable that the costs can be too much for drivers.
Submitted by yujinkim412 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding the introduction to provide a broader context for the discussion, which can aid in engaging the reader fully from the start.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point mentioned in the body paragraphs is fully expanded and link back to the main idea to strengthen the cohesiveness of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Adding some transitional phrases can enhance the flow between arguments and help the essay's coherence improve.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages with relevant examples, such as considering the impact on elderly people's driving abilities.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion succinctly frame the discussion, providing a clear opening and closure for the essay.
task achievement
Using specific examples like the situation in Korea gives credibility to the arguments and illustrates the potential real-world application of the ideas discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • retake
  • enhanced
  • mitigation
  • logistical challenges
  • financial burden
  • capabilities
  • independence
  • stress and anxiety
  • reinforcement
  • road rules
  • administrative
  • insurance premiums
  • decline
  • government agencies
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