IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#effect #relationships #people
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The
use
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 of electronic
media
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 makes personal relationships between
people
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 bad. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, electronic
media
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 are likely one of the reasons causing problems in relationships. Using electronic
media
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such
Linking Words
 as mobile phone makes them not good at communication,
people
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instead
Linking Words
 of talk in
person
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 they will
use
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 text it through phone, when you text, it sometimes makes misunderstanding between you and that
person
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, they won’t know if you are mad or not sometimes it will lead to an argument. Another reason is students, nowadays students
use
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 electronic
media
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 a lot, they can easily make fun of each other on the internet but when it goes too far can lead to suicide. Friends making fun of each other are normal but when it reaches out of limit like pose some
kind
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 of videos and pictures can be sensitives to their friends which lead to bullies, from friends become enemies because of the network.
Last
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 but not least
people
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 lose their trust in each other because of the
scammer
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,
Scammer
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 is a
person
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 who commits fraud or participates in a dishonest scheme, they will text you win some
kind
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 of price with the amount of
money
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then
Linking Words
 they ask for your personal information, some
people
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 believe that lost their
money
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. A
scammer
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 has become more and more sinister due to the Covid 19 the
scammer
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 will act like a poor
person
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 who needs help, they ask for
money
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 from you. Be careful with
this
Linking Words
kind
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 of
scammer
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, not only
this
Linking Words
kind
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 of
scammer
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 when come to
money
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 don’t easily believe them. In conclusion, I think
media
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 has its benefits and downsides. It all depends on how
people
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use
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 them
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electronic devices
  • personal relationships
  • communication
  • social skills
  • face-to-face interaction
  • isolation
  • emotional connection
  • maintain friendships
  • screen time
  • technology addiction
  • social media
  • virtual communication
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • interpersonal skills
  • disconnect
  • digital world
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