IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or diagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities #diagree
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The way in which we purchase something has changed drastically in recent years with the emergence of
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
eCommerce
e-commerce
 platforms. A stratum of society believe that online and offline shopping can
coesist
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consist
coexist
 in future,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 I would argue that excessive online shopping might lead to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 closure of most shops.
This
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 essay will discuss various reasons for
this
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 change.
Firstly
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, big
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
e-commerce
eCommerce
 companies are trying to kill small and medium scale businesses by undercutting their price in order to expand their customer base.
This
Linking Words
 is because they do not have to pay any rent like shop owners and there are no middlemen, which enables them to sell anything at a discounted price to the consumer.
For instance
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, these days many college students like to buy clothes from the internet via applications like Myntra
instead
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 of getting
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 from a physical shop in their locality.
In contrast
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, if
these business
Change the determiner
this business
these businesses
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 did not offer huge discounts to undercut the competition, it would give a chance to local shopkeepers to save their businesses.
Secondly
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, a lot of young
professsionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 are moving to ordering groceries online rather than getting
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 themselves. The reason for
this
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 lies in the convenience provided by these delivery apps. To illustrate, most employees working in
Correct your spelling
corporate
coorporate
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the coorporate
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 sector prefer the daily goods delivered to them on their doorstep due to the lack of time and energy to go outside and purchase it. Alternatively, if these working
professsionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 had better work-life balance, they would not have been habituated to ordering in. To conclude, It can hardly be denied that
ecommerce
Correct your spelling
eCommerce
e-commerce
 companies are growing rapidly due to undercutting consumer
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 by not having to pay any rent and no middlemen.
Furthermore
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,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 habit of ordering everything from home is getting popular among youth
as a result
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 of
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 work-life balance.
Submitted by anirudhgaurag on

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