In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence

The fact that recently the world gets (delete the get replaced with has just become) more competitive day by day is undeniable (As

day

Add an article

the day

show examples

goes by, it is undeniable fact that the world gets more competitive), and it is followed by the popular belief that to compete in the (current) situation,

both

parents

must take part (participate) to make the families’ ends meet. (

grammatially

Correct your spelling

grammatically

correct, but

unncesarily

Correct your spelling

unnecessarily

complicated). A lot of people think that

children

who come from

such

families will not need to worry about their financial condition,

however

, I reckon that many

children

suffer from the loneliness resulting from being left unattended at home by

both

parents

sometimes until late at night.

To begin

with, the economic situation in some areas (has been getting) is getting worse due to inflation and pandemic.

This

condition (given circumstance) has (

ablushed

Correct your spelling

blushed

, forced, required) made some households decide that

both

parents

should go to

work

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs. If

both

parents

were at

work

then

they would have doubled income sources and they would not have to worry about their bills.

Consequently

, there are more people who adopted

this

lifestyle because of the condition they

are face

Change the verb form

are facing

show examples

currently (delete

this

On the other hand

, many

children

felt neglected because they were left alone at home while their

parents

are (were) away at

work

. Many

children

cannot deal with their own problems whether they are at home or school. When they need adults’ help in doing their homework, they find nobody to discuss with.

Parents

’ presence is important to

children

, not only because they are the ones the

children

look for if trouble happens, but

also

their guidance will be a great help to face in terms of maturing. While I think that having double income would be a great help for a lot of families, I

also

cannot deny the fact that even if

both

parents

go to

work

, the role of the

parents

should be balanced. Many people choose to

work

starting late at night because they must take care of the household in the daytime while their spouse is away. Balanced

parents

’ role will not sacrifice their

children

’s needs for emotional support, in the end, it will be a fair result for

both

parents

and the

children

. To conclude my opinion, some

children

may benefit from working

parents

due to their double income.

However

, the role of

parents

in taking care of the

children

and working should be balanced in order to give their

children

enough emotional support.

Submitted by ahmadarifshiddiq99 on Sun Mar 06 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

419 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income households
financial stability
work-life balance
emotional well-being
parental involvement
social development
extracurricular activities
childcare solutions
time management
career advancement

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In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent lexical in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming only language to be spoken globally. Advantages and disadvantages?

in their advertising bsinesses nowadays ususally emphasise that their products are new in some way. whay is this ? do you think it is a positife or negative development?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that car users should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.