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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#today’s #world #families #parents #work #say #children #benefit #income #lack #support #parents’ #absence
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The fact that recently the world gets (delete the get replaced with has just become) more competitive day by day is undeniable (As
day
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the day
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 goes by, it is undeniable fact that the world gets more competitive), and it is followed by the popular belief that to compete in the (current) situation,
both
Use synonyms
parents
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 must take part (participate) to make the families’ ends meet. (
grammatially
Correct your spelling
grammatically
 correct, but
unncesarily
Correct your spelling
unnecessarily
 complicated). A lot of people think that
children
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 who come from
such
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 families will not need to worry about their financial condition,
however
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, I reckon that many
children
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 suffer from the loneliness resulting from being left unattended at home by
both
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parents
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 sometimes until late at night.
To begin
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 with, the economic situation in some areas (has been getting) is getting worse due to inflation and pandemic.
This
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 condition (given circumstance) has (
ablushed
Correct your spelling
blushed
, forced, required) made some households decide that
both
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parents
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 should go to
work
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their needs. If
both
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parents
Use synonyms
 were at
work
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,
then
Linking Words
 they would have doubled income sources and they would not have to worry about their bills.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there are more people who adopted
this
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 lifestyle because of the condition they
are face
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are facing
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 currently (delete
this
Linking Words
).
On the other hand
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, many
children
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 felt neglected because they were left alone at home while their
parents
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 are (were) away at
work
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. Many
children
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 cannot deal with their own problems whether they are at home or school. When they need adults’ help in doing their homework, they find nobody to discuss with.
Parents
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’ presence is important to
children
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, not only because they are the ones the
children
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 look for if trouble happens, but
also
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 their guidance will be a great help to face in terms of maturing. While I think that having double income would be a great help for a lot of families, I
also
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 cannot deny the fact that even if
both
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parents
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 go to
work
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, the role of the
parents
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 should be balanced. Many people choose to
work
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 starting late at night because they must take care of the household in the daytime while their spouse is away. Balanced
parents
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’ role will not sacrifice their
children
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’s needs for emotional support, in the end, it will be a fair result for
both
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parents
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 and the
children
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. To conclude my opinion, some
children
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 may benefit from working
parents
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 due to their double income.
However
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, the role of
parents
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 in taking care of the
children
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 and working should be balanced in order to give their
children
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 enough emotional support.
Submitted by ahmadarifshiddiq99 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dual-income households
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • emotional well-being
  • parental involvement
  • social development
  • extracurricular activities
  • childcare solutions
  • time management
  • career advancement
What to do next:
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