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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the 18th century due to industrialization a lot of people migrated to developed countries. This affected lifestyle and increased major problems in developed nations.

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In the years of 1800s, the era of industrialization, a large number of
people
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 migrate to developed
countries
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. Some
people
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 argue that
this
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 trend affected lifestyle and raised big problems in developing
countries
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. I strongly believe that
this
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 trend would bring serious problems in developed
countries
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,
such
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 as the increase in
traffic
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 jams and pollution.
First
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 of all, the movement of
people
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 to the developed
countries
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 would stimulate the growth of the population.
Therefore
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, In destination
countries
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 that have a huge population would experience problems in the
traffic
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 system. It was because the growth of transportation facilities
such
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 as road and rail systems have not ready yet to accommodate the movement of workers who need to commute to work every day. For an instance, in Jakarta, The capital city of Indonesia, the workers would experience a massive
traffic
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 jam for commuting to work before the local government developed the Mass Rail Transport System (MRT).
On the other hand
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,
besides
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 the industrial activities that produced CO2 and NOx that decreased air quality, the movement of workers who commute to work every day
also
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 tends to make it worse. A huge number of
people
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also
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 would produce a number of waste from daily consumptions and activities.
For example
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, the consumption of artificial products would increase the volume of chemical waste and plastics.
Thus
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, they tend to contaminate the water and sand.   To summarize, the migrations of
people
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 due to the industrialization to the developed
countries
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 would bring a major problem
such
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 as massive
traffic
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 jam in big cities and
also
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 it could increase the amount of pollution in both air and land.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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