IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Advertising causes people to buy things they do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Certainly, some
people
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 think that advertising makes
people
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 buy
things
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 they do not really need. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why I agree with
this
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 idea. I accept that advertising can be useful，and perhaps the most obvious one is that
It
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it
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 tells consumers about new
products
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 and services, and helps them make better choices.
For example
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, an ad for an energy-saving fridge can show
people
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 that it uses less electricity and is good for the environment.
As a result
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,
people
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 may choose to buy these
products
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, which can save them money in the long run and
also
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 reduce environmental damage. In
this
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 way, advertising can promote
products
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 that really improve life and help the planet.
However
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, I believe advertising often encourages
people
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 to buy unnecessary
things
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. One reason is that it appeals more to emotions than to reason. Companies link their
products
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 to a better lifestyle or higher social status, making
people
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 feel they need these
things
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.
For instance
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, luxury watch brands use famous
people
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 to make customers believe these watches will improve their image, even though cheaper watches can tell the time just as well. Another reason is that repeated ads can influence
people
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’s thinking, making them buy
things
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 they had not considered before.
This
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 is especially true for children, who are easily influenced by persuasive ads. In conclusion,
while
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 advertising can give useful information, its main effect is to make
people
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 buy
things
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 they do not really need. So, consumers should think carefully before making a purchase and consider whether they truly need the product.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a short line that says what you think. Then have two clear blocks for each idea, and finish with a short end line.
structure
Put a topic sentence at the start of each paragraph to show the main idea.
content
Give one or two simple examples that fit the point and say how they help your view.
grammar
Check for grammar and marks. Use short, easy sentences and common words, not long and hard words.
strength
You take a clear view and stay with it to the end.
strength
You give real examples such as a fridge and a luxury watch.
structure
The order moves from idea to idea to conclusion in a steady way.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
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