IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise, while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some
people
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 believe that fast
food
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 advertising should be banned.
However
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, others think that a business has a right to advertise its product. In the following paragraphs, both of these views will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. On the one hand, the advertisement of fast
food
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 should not be permitted because it will badly affect consumers'
health
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.
In other words
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, excessive fast
food
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 consumption leads to serious public
health
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 problems in the general population
such
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 as obesity, diabetes and hypertension as it contains high calories, saturated fat and sugar.To illustrate, research has found strong associations between increases in advertising for non-nutritious foods and rates of childhood obesity. Most children under age 6 cannot distinguish between programming and advertising.
This
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 can lead children to make unhealthy choices.
Therefore
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, banning adverts for unhealthy foods would be likely to lead to a fall in purchases of them.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 might argue that it is appropriate for fast
food
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 companies to advertise because every industry has certain rights and protections to sell their products.
Moreover
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, the junk-
food
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 industry
also
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 provides employment to many
people
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.
For example
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, a study shows that jobs in the fast-
food
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 sector
such
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 as McDonald's or KFC are a major area of youth employment. Another reason why fast
food
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 companies should be allowed to advertise is that
people
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 are definitely responsible for the choices they make. It is their responsibility to take care of their own
health
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.
Therefore
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, a complete ban on the advertisement of the junk-
food
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 industry may not be helpful. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, In my opinion,
although
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 eating unhealthy
food
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 can lead to an increased risk of obesity and chronic diseases, banning fast
food
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 advertising is not the only solution. The government must educate
people
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 about the
health
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 risks associated with the consumption of fast
food
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.
However
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, it must be made mandatory for every fast
food
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 outlet to maintain high safety standards and keep alternative healthy
food
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 options on the menu.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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