Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the ancient days,
people
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used to pay
taxes
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to their kings, so they could run their kingdoms. These days many
people
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argue that to save money
instead
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pay
taxes
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to the Authorities,
while
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others believe that paying
taxes
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is vital for the country’s economic growth. I completely agree everyone must pay
taxes
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to get public facilities.
This
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essay will discuss why I am agreeing to pay
taxes
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to the Government.
Firstly
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, paying tax has many reasons. The main important benefit is the Government receives it and spends on the public's well-being.
For example
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, build hospitals, where many patients get free of cost treatments. In Sydney Blacktown Hospital, provides free services to the citizens. Another reason is to build new roads and schools, where
people
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utilize these facilities and get a good education.
Additionally
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, the States run on
taxes
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paid by their residents, so they can provide amenities to everyone.
Secondly
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, another primary benefit is the money the State uses for the invention of the new technologies.
For instance
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, discoveries in the medical sector of new medicine and saving the population from dangerous diseases
such
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as COVID-19.
In addition
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, the Authorities use the collected amount to pay back old
people
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and unemployed adults, so they can enjoy a good life. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
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paying
taxes
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to the Government, boosts the country’s economy and
people
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enjoy the latest facilities.
However
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, if the Authorities do not get tax, it will be very difficult to run the country and look after the society.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction to make it more concise and directly address the topic. For example, simplify 'In the ancient days, people used to pay taxes to their kings, so they could run their kingdoms' to something more general and focused on the contemporary issue.
coherence cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical flow. The second body paragraph's topic sentence, for example, can be made clearer to indicate it discusses technological advancements and social security.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the free services in Sydney’s Blacktown Hospital and the State’s investment in technology and social welfare.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the argument properly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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