Today more people put personal and private information online to do everyday activities such as banking, shopping and socializing. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #information #activities #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In an age of rapid development of

technology

Use synonyms

, there are more and more individuals rely on digital

technology

Use synonyms

. Communities tend to pay, shop, and socialise online nowadays,

thus

Linking Words

, they have to leave private

information

Use synonyms

on the apps.

Although

Linking Words

it might be dangerous to our security, I believe there more advantages than disadvantages. First and foremost, on the positive side, the convenience brought by

technology

Use synonyms

is significant.

For instance

Linking Words

, in China, almost every store can pay with a mobile phone, and

also

Linking Words

, get a cab online. When it comes to online shopping, South Korea’s supermarket provides fresh food and fast delivery service.

Moreover

Linking Words

, people can make new friends

also

Linking Words

keep in touch with old fellows through social media. Take my dad

for example

Linking Words

, he used to reject signing up for every social media, because he thought it was too insecure to put his personal

information

Use synonyms

online.

However

Linking Words

, after I signed up for him and found his classmates from his elementary school, he started to adopt high

technology

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the actions above not only save time

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

cut down carbon footprints by not using that much paper.

However

Linking Words

, the risk of offering private

information

Use synonyms

to those app companies can’t be denied.

For instance

Linking Words

, we often get a phone call from scam gangs, because our personal data has been sold. What is the worst, problem from hackers, spread pictures or other material that hurts the phone owners

Change the punctuation

show examples

In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there are some hazards of putting one self’s personal

information

Use synonyms

online, the benefits of

this

Linking Words

new technique actually make the world progress.

Submitted by vivian901014 on Thu Nov 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure that the introduction properly paraphrases the question and presents a clear thesis statement indicating your view. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of the essay without introducing new information.

Body Paragraphs

Develop your ideas fully by expanding on the examples you present. Ensure that each body paragraph contains one central idea and that the idea is fleshed out with sufficient detail and analysis.

Cohesion

Work on linking ideas more naturally and cohesively. Use a range of cohesive devices to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Task Response

Focus on responding to all parts of the task prompt. Make sure to address the reasons behind the development and its implications, positive or negative, as per the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 to what extent do you agree or disagree?
The advancement of technology has brought changes to many sectors, including education. Moreover, there is a belief that by 2050, there will be no face-to-face learning methods. In my opinion, I believe this could happen, and the elaboration on this will be covered in this essay.
7
band
The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?
In recent years, the engagement of teenagers in crimes and robberies has substantially grown. There are several factors that contribute to this issue, however, there are some solutions to address this crisis. In the following paragraphs, causes will be expanded, and also the possible solutions available to prevent the problem.
5
band
Topic: Obesity is a major healthy problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?
Nowadays, A primary health issue is Obesity there are many causes of this problem. I personally believe, a behavioral diet and lack of exercise are the main roots of this problem. However, this point can be improved by the government and community.
5
band
In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.
Health care and education are vital pillars of a country development and productivity. People hold different views about whether it’s the responsibility of the government to fully fund both the health care and education sector. Some agree that health care and education should be fully funded by the government while there are others that disagree with it. In my opinion, I support that health care and education cost should be fully funded by the government and my reasons will be stated below.
4.5
band
Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?
There is an ongoing debate regarding which techology is best. A majority of people believe that the technological developments which had happened in the past had changed the life of common individuals and had numerous merits compared to recent developments and the new technology will be inferior to the past 's. However I completely oppose this view and my stance is discussed in the following paragraphs.

Today more people put personal and private information online to do everyday activities such as banking, shopping and socializing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

Topic: Obesity is a major healthy problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?