increasing number of people are choosing cosmetology surgery to improve their appearance. What are the reasons? Do you think is it a positive or negative development?

Most
people
are into physical appearances rather than inner
beauty
. It is argued that with an increase in population, there is a rising trend of surgical transformation of outer looks.
In addition
,
this
happens due to many fake advertisements targeting idol
beauty
instead
of accepting natural looks. Social media and
beauty
bloggers are setting high standards in creating outer
beauty
in order
attract
Fix the infinitive
to attract
show examples
people
to buy their products which will enhance their looks and more
people
will interact
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
only because of good looks.
For example
, having pointed nose and bold lips, many cosmetology projects are trending like Botox for fuller lips for individuals who have thin lips.
Furthermore
,
Beauty
influencers are
also
convincing
people
to go for permanent eyebrows and false eyelashes just to build up their outer appearance. Natural
beauty
is God gifted, one shouldn’t alter or try to change them just for getting approval from today’s society. Self-acceptance is the key to
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
in life. I firmly believe that everyone should appreciate simplicity and
beauty
, that’s the most important thing rather than persuading someone to put
makeup
Change preposition
on makeup
show examples
to look good.
Additionally
, We should have self-confidence and be comfortable in our skin and not
listening
Wrong verb form
listen
show examples
to makeup bloggers as they are just promoting their businesses.
Moreover
, one should tell themselves daily that they are beautiful just the way they are, without needing those facial surgeries as they can cause allergies or bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to our skin. In conclusion, more and more
people
are adopting cosmetic surgery to improve their looks. The main reason for
this
escalation is advertisements given by makeup artists and
beauty
bloggers, influencing
people
to opt for these facial surgeries to look good.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: