Reading a book is better than spending time on computers or TV. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it has been observed that a huge number of people spend their leisure
time
reading
books
.
Although
some prefer to spend their free
time
watching screens on TV or computers. I firmly agree with the second statement . My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraph and relevant examples .
Firstly
, the foremost argument to justify my stand is that
books
are a waste of
time
.
For instance
, people use
books
to escape into fictional worlds, reducing stress and enhancing imagination.
However
, in today's world, individuals have access to vast information and content on the internet and other digital resources that serve the same purpose and,
moreover
, do not consume a lot of
time
.
Besides
this
, it is true that technology is evolving every day, creating applications on devices for convenient leisure activities
such
as audiobooks , digital storytellers and animation novels .
Secondly
, another reason to support my point is that the youth often prefer dynamic activities,
such
as playing or watching. The younger generation is more energetic, and what was fascinating five years ago may now seem exhausting to them.
This
is because when people play games or watch movies, they can easily understand the situation or control the main character
instead
of just imagining it. It is evident that
this
is more dynamic and interesting.
To conclude
the discussion, my reasons are that
books
are relegated to the background, and computers and TV are more interesting
due to
their dynamism and
time
efficiency.
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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task achievement
The essay lacks a clear and developed argument. Even though you have stated your agreement with the statement, your argument is contradictory and confusing. You need to make sure your stance reflects throughout the essay without inconsistency. Additionally, several statements are made without adequate support or examples. Try to include clear examples and explanations that directly support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay struggles with both logical structure and coherence. You need to improve the flow of ideas by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences directly relate to that idea. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth and logical. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened to more effectively present and summarize the essay's argument.
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