IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#weddings #reason #development
There have been ongoing concerns regarding the fact that people, nowadays, spend
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of the expenses on holding their wedding marriage ceremony.
This
 essay will explain why they fund their budgets on
such
 a special occasion, especially
Add an article
a wedding
show examples
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
, and why I believe that it is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
advantageous progress.
To begin
 with, there are various factors that contribute to spending
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
 on a
wedding’s
Change noun form
wedding
show examples
 day.
Firstly
,
this
 is
possibly
Replace the adverb
possible
show examples
 because individuals are conscious about the core value of the wedding as it could be held only one time with the beloved one in their lives. Take my brother ;
for example
, when he got married to his wife
last
 year, he held
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 extravagant luxurious wedding in an extremely expensive costly hotel.
Secondly
, another cause is that citizens’ lifestyles have become extravagant ,which has
caused
Add a missing verb
been caused
show examples
 by the
capital
Replace the word
capitalist
show examples
 world as they are getting wealthier and wealthier.
For instance
, my cousin owns her food business where she has gained huge profits every month. Personally, I believe that spending
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of
money
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuptials is a pessimistic advancement, seeing that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
money
 on
such
 as unnecessary issue. My
second
 brother,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 save her
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
 on looking after his family/children
instead
 of funding his wedding for a day. As a consequence, would be spent on more necessary payment.
Therefore
, it is evident that wedding expenditure is considered as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
disadvantageous progress. In conclusion,
although
 it
undeniable
Add a missing verb
is undeniable
show examples
 that many people have spent their
money
 on a marriage celebration, I am of the opinion that
this
 can result in detrimental outcomes, especially
money
 waste.
Submitted by aunaunyas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
What to do next:
Look at other essays: