People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?

It is widely acknowledged that high
level
of
air
pollution
is the most imminent problem in big urban areas. Because of
this
, people's wellness is seriously deteriorated.
This
essay is going to indicate the most dire repercussions of
air
pollution
, which can be tackled by the solutions below. The foremost issue associated with
air
contamination is the rise of industrial activities.
This
process results in a flood of immigrants that
consequently
causes overpopulation in big cities. Overpopulation,
therefore
, increases the density of personal vehicles which immediately raises the
level
of
air
pollution
.
For example
, Hanoi is known as the metropolitan of Vietnam, where international conglomerates,
such
as Samsung or Lotte, place their operation.
Therefore
, suburban people tend to move here for
further
growth opportunities and a better workplace environment.
As a result
, Hanoi recently reported the surge of cars or motorbikes generated by petrol, which contributed largely to the ‘hazard
level
’ of
air
quality. It is not only the overpopulation
that is
caused by industrialization
,
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but
also
the rise of factories. Several large manufacturing plants placed in Bac Ninh, which is in close proximity to Hanoi, are indeed responsible for a ton of toxic gases that are released into the
air
every day. These consequences of industrialization are the testaments of high levels of
air
pollution
in enormous cities. In order to holistically address the aforementioned problem, drastic measures are needed.
First,
on the personal
level
, shifting to more environmentally friendly transportation is an effective approach.
Instead
of commuting by petrol-powered vehicles, individuals can choose public transportation or electric-powered models.
This
consequently
lessens carbon footprints that are released into the
air
. On the governmental
level
, authorities must generate stricter regulations to control effectively the waste management of businesses and restrict the disposal of toxic chemicals. In conclusion, a high degree of
air
contamination in big cities is likely to be triggered by the process of industrialization, which can be resolved by individuals joining in hand with the governments.
Submitted by ngnv173 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that sentences within paragraphs flow smoothly from one to another. Clear transitions can add coherence and make the essay more readable.
task achievement
Try to stay on topic with concise information. Avoid overgeneralizing while providing specific examples.
task achievement
Further elaborate on how individual and governmental measures can be implemented for better clarity and detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant specific examples, such as those cited about Hanoi and Bac Ninh, enhance the explanation and provide concrete evidence.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and logically dissected, making the essay comprehensive and coherent.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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