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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that university students should pay all the costs of studies because university education only benefits students themselves not society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #students #costs #studies #education #society
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People have different views about
either
Correct word choice
whether
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 youngsters or governments should take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 tuition
fees
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. In
this
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 essay, I will think about both sides of
this
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 argument but
personally
Add a comma
,personally
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 I support the idea that authorities need to pay all the costs of university education. There are several reasons why I believe that governments should help
students
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 learners to cover the
fees
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 in education.
Firstly
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, in my opinion, the thing
that is
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 a priority thing is for college pupils to focus on their research and create as a
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
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 life as they could. By concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
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their tuition
fees
Use synonyms
,
students
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 may be distracted for many reasons
such
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 as their part-
time
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 job, the balance between school and work, lack
time
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 of
submitting
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for submitting
show examples
 homework on
time
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 and so on. At the same
time
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, spending
time
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 on work, youngsters may reduce many opportunities to meet friends or join the clubs, which they may be interested in after lessons. It is necessary for college
students
Use synonyms
 to explore and understand themselves deeply through these activities. Now I want to think about the benefits of learners paying for their own course.
By contrast
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,
if
Correct word choice
apply
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it is necessary for university
students
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 to take responsibility for their learning
fees
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.
For instance
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, they could learn how to deal with relationships with colleagues and managers beforehand. and
in addition
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, It may help them have more working experiences and figure out the best way of
time
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 management which are appropriate for themselves.
On the other hand
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,
students
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 will gain more value from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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attendance and schoolwork because it is not easy for them to earn all the tuition.
For example
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, according to the research,
students
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 who have work experience before graduation may perform well and are
also
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 more independent than others. In conclusion,
although
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 I agree that
students
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 would have better performance and care more about their schoolwork, I still consider that
students
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 have their right to explore themselves and learn as much as they could during their college
time
Use synonyms
,
therefore
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 the full cost of
further
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 education should be taken by the Government.
Submitted by wanda320 on

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