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Band 5.5

Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #teachers #be
The number of
people
 who become a teacher has decreased. I support that the most common reason for
this
 trend is an enormous work to fulfil their duties and young
people
 consider that
this
 type of work reduces their free
time
.
However
, I believe that
this
 issue can be solved by applying
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
high salary. The situation that younger
people
 tend to avoid becoming a teacher is caused by a larger amount of teacher’s tasks and a reduced
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
free
time
. Most
teachers
 are basically involved in multitasks
such
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
preparation for a class, instructing children’s studies, and operating excursion programs. It leads to declining
instructor’s
Fix the agreement mistake
instructors’
show examples
 free
time
 which is unattractive for younger job seekers.
For example
, according to a report published by an educational organization, 80% of
teachers
 have a tendency to lose their free
time
 due to
a heavy work
Remove the article
heavy work
a heavy job
show examples
.
In addition
 to that, there is younger
people
’s statement that if it were lower possible for
teachers
 to sacrifice their free
time
, they would not hesitate to become a teacher. To make the occupation of
teachers
 more popular, governments should spend a greater number of budgets for hiring
teachers
 that normally makes their salary.
This
 is because a high wedge’s position can be appealing to younger
people
. To illustrate
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
, a recruiting company shows that 70% of them chose their occupations based
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a range of salary. If
teachers
 are well known for an excellent position as a great amount of income, younger
people
 more desire to take
such
 position as their jobs. In conclusion,
although
 younger job seekers tend to hesitate to become a school instructor mainly because of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plenty of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
this
 trend can be improved by setting a larger wedge from governments.
Submitted by 100nami.d on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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