IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Each animal
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a vital role in our ecosystem.
However
Linking Words
, in the present, it is argued that they do not belong in our advanced world and protecting them is just a wastage of funds. I firmly disagree with the above statement and will explain why we should make an effort to protect them.
First
Linking Words
 of all, saving
animals
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not a waste of funds. These creatures are important to keep the balance in our ecosystem, from the biggest to the smallest ones they have their role to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the bears are responsible for dispersing seeds of berries and other fruits they consume
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily basis, which aid in generating more fruit-bearing plants in the forest. If they will cease to exist,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of trees and plants will significantly decline and will cause a negative outcome to humans, resulting
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 food resources.
Thus
Linking Words
, we should not discard them.
Second
Linking Words
, protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 is our sole responsibility. No one else would have the ability to do so and we should act before
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 too late. As we know, some of them are already extinct
such
Linking Words
 as the woolly mammoth, which is believed to be
closedly
Correct your spelling
closely
 related to a modern-day elephant. If we fail to save them, the future generation will only be seeing these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 through books and videos. Not only that, their loss will abrupt the natural flow of
biological
Correct article usage
the biological
show examples
 community of interacting organisms and their environment.
That is
Linking Words
 why we should be aware of our role to save them. In conclusion, despite the argument that saving
animals
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 just a waste of tax money, I firmly believe that it is not true because
failling
Correct your spelling
failing
 to do so will lead to
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 food resources. We should
also
Linking Words
 advocate for their lives. By doing so, we are fulfilling our part to keep the balance in our environment.
Submitted by jezreelanndorado on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: