IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society

#robots #intelligence #humans #workplace #impact #society
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In the digital age, automatic products
such
 as robots and artificial intelligence soared and gradually
undertake
Wrong verb form
undertook
show examples
 responsibilities
instead
 of humans in the work areas. The primary reason business managers have a tendency to choose robots for heavy work. In light of
this
, I contend that
this
 trend has beneficial effects on the speed of production and lets physical toils to the cliff. It is important to acknowledge that the social perspective on physical enforcement is quite low,
whereas
 intelligent retrieval has a counterpart position in the eyes of society. Their advantages are undeniable and unexpected, they can do any
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 which human seems like hardly ever do the same,
also
 with the ability superior to fundamental professional skills,
therefore
 can able to see their vital roles in people's day. Japan is now running mass-mechanized restaurants in which passengers are allowed to order automatically without any man-made steps.
Additionally
,
along with
 the development of neural networks and machines, the priority of wisdom appears increasingly obvious, it may lead to higher acquirement of education. In fact, with the latest technology, physical toil sources gradually do not exist. anymore
instead
 mechanic engines will ensure productivity perfectly.
For instance
, in modern houses, owners can run facilities inside through voice or smartphones and even turn on a horn without any security whenever burglars break into the house.
Therefore
, technology exerts considerable pressure on low-awareness citizens,
however
, on the positive face, it has abilities to form a better future that can boost productivity and modernize the nation.

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coherence cohesion
It's great to see your essay structure effectively presenting your ideas. However, working on the clarity and precision of your sentences could enhance the readability and impact of your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider presenting a balanced view by acknowledging opposing perspectives more explicitly, even if your argument leans towards a particular stance.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to weave your ideas more seamlessly throughout the essay.
task achievement
Good job on using examples like Japan's mass-mechanized restaurants and modern houses with automated systems to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively outlined the benefits of robots and AI in the workplace, maintaining a clear focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cost-effective
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancements
  • Job displacement
  • Economic disparity
  • Dependency
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Ethical concerns
  • Moral questions
  • Standard of living
  • Income gap
  • Widespread automation
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