Some people think that they should take risks in their profession and their lives. while others think it is bad for their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
These days, the public has various perspectives about risk. A group of them prefer to take it in their jobs and
lives
Use synonyms
while
others believe that it has a negative effect on occupations or Linking Words
lives
. I subscribe to the first idea owing to the fact that it changes the broadens people's horizons and aids populations to have a better situation or worse ones.
On the one hand, when the public takes a risk based on the strength planes in their Use synonyms
lives
, they are pushed out of their comfort zones. Use synonyms
In other words
, it encourages the population to receive new experiences and use their several opportunities to become better in some work. Linking Words
In addition
, it creates a chance for communities to obtain situations that have a good lifestyle quality and are in the best financial status. Linking Words
For example
, people who established the biggest corporations around the world take a lot of risks and spend all their time on them to become successful.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the individual might get an adverse consequence when they risk-taking without schedules in their Linking Words
lives
and just started one work. Use synonyms
Therefore
, in Linking Words
this
situation, the financial strain and job security put people under pressure. Linking Words
For instance
, most teenagers influenced by their peers' pressure do a range of risky work like competing in some competitions that have a negative effect on their Linking Words
lives
and lose their money.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, in my personal view, risk-taking with planes is the best tools that provide opportunities for populations to upgrade their quality of lifestyles and the economy. Linking Words
Whereas
, risk Linking Words
that is
based on exiting has an adverse impact on their Linking Words
lives
and money.Use synonyms
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that you are using transitional phrases and connectors to smoothly guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
In your task response, ensure that each point is clearly developed with relevant examples and explanations to better support your views.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to expand on specific examples and how they illustrate the risk-taking benefits or downsides. You have a good structure, but more detailed examples would add clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured introduction that sets up the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion successfully reiterates your position while summarizing the key points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
You have presented balanced views by acknowledging both sides of the argument, which reflects a comprehensive understanding of the topic.