IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
It is believed that all
people
 should give a certain
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of their revenue to humanitarian organizations. It seems to me that donating money to those who need
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
help can be one way to solve social concerns which are related to
health
 and
education
. I will explain how
donations
 affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society positively.
Firstly
, the charity campaign tends to collect money from
people
 to solve
health
 problems among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children. Because it is difficult to cover some medical treatment
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
such
 as cancer, liver and heart surgery
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
people
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in developing countries. There is a prime example that one
health
 project named ‘Heart never forgets’ is funded by individuals and companies’ donation has saved
over
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apply
show examples
thousands of children’s lives
last
 year.
Secondly
,
people
’s
donations
 give a chance to the students who
from
Add a missing verb
are from
show examples
 less affluent
family getting
Wrong verb form
families to get
show examples
 a higher
education
.
This
 means that many young
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot study at
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
 top universities
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
from
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of
show examples
 high tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
however
 they have a true passion. So thanks to scholarships donated by warm-hearted
people
, thousands of offspring can get a qualified
education
 all around the world.
On the other hand
, I appreciate that some
people
 think differently, saying that the majority of
donations
 may not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to reach the targeted segment. Despite
this
, it seems that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
donation brings
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 attitude in society
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 not giving.
To conclude
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
donations
 can be a solution to solve some social problems
such
 as
health
 and
education
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
. If everybody
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 a philanthropist, our world would become more
contentedly
Replace the word
contented
show examples
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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