Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children that are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

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There is a heated debate that has sparked all over the world. Some believe that it is important to boost young children a

mind-set

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mindset

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tournament

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the tournament

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while it is considered that

co-operation

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is more suitable to be taught compared to

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competition

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the competition

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because they think it would be a big help to be effective adults. In

this

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essay,

discussion

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a discussion

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of both ideas and my opinion will be mentioned.

To begin

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with, participating in a

competition

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is a good thing to do regardless of winning.

People

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can get a lot of benefits from a game

such

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as a great experience, motivation and

friend

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friends

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. What

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are

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more, games make the youth more active, fresh and hardworking

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In addition

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, while preparing for the

competition

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, uncountable knowledge about the title or topic can be got.

For example

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, participating in

historical

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the historical

a historical

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essay

competition

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Remove the article

apply

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wisdom of the history

such

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as what was happening in

respective

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the respective

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country and how did elder

people

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overcame can be noticed.

Nevertheless

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, most

people

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tend to win the final resulting selfish and making bad things to opponents.

On the other hand

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co-operation

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also

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an important skill that every young

people

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should practise since they were young. There is no doubt that

co-operation

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can improve teamwork skills, communicating skills and other required skills in daily life.

Moreover

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, at least two

people

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have to work together and share their ideas to co-operate.

Therefore

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenager

are

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more likely to respect other

people

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's views and they become more patient. Most importantly, if the children have the habit of

co-operation

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, they have more chances of getting more opportunities in every

fields

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field

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. To sum up, I more prefer

co-operation

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rather than

competition

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Although

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their targets are the same which is winning or finishing the task perfectly,

competition

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may bring negative thinking and

physicial

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physical

violence.

Hence

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, I believe that

advantages

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the advantages

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co-operation

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outweigh

merits

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the merits

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competition

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Submitted by tthoon21 on Mon Mar 14 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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