Some people believe that universities should make sports a compulsory module on all degree courses as rates of obesity are getting higher and higher. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that additional
sports
courses
should be introduced into the programmes offered by higher educational institutions to combat
ever-increasing
Correct article usage
the ever-increasing
show examples
obesity rate. I strongly disagree with
this
statement and will provide reasons to ascertain my claim. There are several reasons why enforcing
sports
courses
USE SYNONYMS developmentseriessystemprogramplanwaypolicylineprocedure It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. in degree programs isn't a viable option.
Firstly
, I believe students are already occupied by their hefty
courses
, and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the addition of physical
courses
can disturb them, making them score lower in other subjects, leading them to burnout or even worse causing them depression,
moreover
, their lack of interest can
also
trigger poor motivation in pursuing
further
education in near future.
For example
, a student who goes to work from 9AM to 5PM, and
then
attends lectures at 6PM would be very hesitant to work out because he is already mentally and physically exhausted.
Secondly
, The cost required to install
sports
facilities is very high, making the institutions bear extra expenditure for their operations.
Also
, the types of equipment
such
as football, tennis rackets and balls, and footwear etc would
also
be needed to facilitate
this
cause,
therefore
many universities would not appreciate
this
idea since it proves to be a very expensive ordeal.
Lastly
,
instead
of forcing students to take sporty
courses
, it would be better if
sports
complexes
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
subsidize membership packages for students particularly,
this
will encourage them to exercise and help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
maintain health and fitness.
For instance
, My high school provided discounted coupons for those who were interested in
sports
,
this
helped them remain active and healthy. In conclusion, I disagree with the notion that universities should offer
such
courses
and laid out several points to support my agenda.
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and the sequence of argumentation is clear. For example, use more transitional phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand.'
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Try to elaborate slightly more on your main points to develop clear and comprehensive ideas. This will help in fully exploring and illustrating your arguments.
task achievement
While you provided relevant examples, try to add a bit more detail to strengthen them. More specific and varied examples can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which logically frames the central argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by providing several reasons to support your disagreement with the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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