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Band 7.5

People should look after their health because this is a duty to the society not just a personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #duty #society
It is often argued by some that
individuals
 should be responsible for their well-being not only for their advantages but
also
 for society. From my point of view, I do agree with
this
 point. I believe that there are many things that
individuals
 should do that can help the community. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate more on
this
 in detail.
To begin
 with,
individuals
 play a crucial role in maintaining a decent medical care
system
 by being conscious of well-being.
Firstly
, it is very important to do regular exercises and keep fit. To give a clear example, according to some research, people who do daily sports are 70% less likely to suffer from obesity or overweight problems. Since the population of overweight people are significantly increasing in the modern world, it has been putting strain on the health care
system
 in many countries.
This
 is the reason why it is essential that each citizen needs to become aware of the importance of daily exercise.
In addition
 to that, people need to be aware of spreading infectious diseases. In the modern world, citizens are easily transported from one city to another.
As a result
, infectious diseases are easily spread in the community.
For example
, if one person has some kind of a symptom of an early stage of a disease that can be transmitted to another person, and he carelessly uses a public transportation
system
 without wearing a mask, that
consequently
 leads to spreading disease. To conclude, in my opinion,
individuals
 should be responsible for their well-being so that we can keep the sufficient medical
system
 and everyone else's health in society. To conclude,
Submitted by yyurienn on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • duty
  • well-being
  • burden
  • healthcare systems
  • productive
  • economy
  • example
  • empower
  • informed choices
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