IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. What extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
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Some
people
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 believed that giving
money
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 to them is the best
way
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 to help their life. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
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 view and think that there are many ways to help them without giving them
money
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. In the following paragraphs,the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail.  It is undeniable that the number of homeless has dramatic increase over the decades in many countries.
For instance
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, The proportion of homeless
people
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 in Thailand went up significantly from 4% in 2010 to nearly 7% in 2022 same as Korea and Japan, the rate of these two countries grow up noticeably to roughly 5% from 2% in 2010, which means
this
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 is a serious problem that
government
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 should concern how to solve it. In
this
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 situation, the
government
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 should create policies to help
people
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 collect more taxes from rich
people
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 and add more funds to take care homeless.
In addition
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, the
government
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 need to develop an educational and health care system which means giving a chance to all citizens
such
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 as the middle class, the elite and
also
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 the homeless that can access the welfare state. As s result,
people
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 will be equal.
However
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, to give
money
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 is a short-term
way
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 and not quite sustainable while
government
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 support is long-term and can solve the problem a correct
way
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. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea that helping the homeless by giving them
money
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 is the best
way
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 because
this
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 problem is very serious and should be supported by the
government
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.
Submitted by namhon11 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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