Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The juvenile delinquency rate is on the rise, some people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that there should be strict discipline for their wrongdoings. I personally agree with the given opinions to some extent, but I believe that there are some measures that could tackle the situation. On the one hand, I believe that imposing severe punishments on young perpetrators would set an example for would-be

criminals

Use synonyms

, regardless of age. First of all, imposing both ways for young and adults will decrease the crime rate, especially declining

Change preposition

apply

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the reoffending level.

Therefore

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, harsh punishments

such

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as the death penalty and life imprisonment should be included in juvenile sentences,

this

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could spread a warning to future

criminals

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Secondly

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, teenagers who commit crimes at an early age

were

Wrong verb form

and are

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put into detention centres for a certain period of time tend to backslide to their old illegal lifestyle.

As a result

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, young people may consider committing a crime

Unnecessary verb

apply

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normal and they will certainly keep repeating their wrongdoings.

Additionally

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, inappropriate punishments for them would leave injustice for the victims.

While

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the victims are suffering the consequences of the delinquent's action, the

criminals

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receive a light prison sentence just because they are not old enough for legal responsibilities.

On the other hand

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, I think that the best solution to limit the level of young offenders is to provide them with a better education. To exemplify, if children are well-educated and have the best conditions to develop, they will avoid bad behaviours.

Moreover

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, young perpetrators should be given the chance to have a restart and time to reflect on their harmful actions. In conclusion, I think that the government should impose both strict regulations and improve

the

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apply

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education quality

as well as

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rehabilitation for teenagers who commit felonies.

Besides

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, the government should

also

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take

account

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into account

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apply

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improving rehabilitation centres to help young

criminals

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have a better subconscious after committing crimes.

Submitted by nguyenthuytien1609 on Thu Mar 17 2022

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task response

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the logical structure and flow of ideas is consistent throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.

grammatical range

Use a variety of complex sentence structures and pay attention to grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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