IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is unacceptable that people who work in certain professions,eg.finance,media, entertainment and sport,are paid such high salaries while others, who do more important jobs in society,are underpaid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there are more and more
people
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 who face to inequality and personal achievement in the relationship, while other
people
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 believe that high levels of human being free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits.In my opinion, it is necessary to have equality in order to give all individuals equal possibilities to achieve their full potential and
this
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 way they will be able to free succeed in
society
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. Admittedly, the more and more others who have the experience of tertiary education in
society
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.
such
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 as: woman, retired
people
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, if those
people
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 gain rework throughout themselves work, which acquired appropriation from others,
thus
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 they feel receive other’s valued.which is why they feel achievable in
society
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.
Furthermore
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, in whole
society
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 ,
people
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 means what of life meaningful that enables them to promote moral value.
Therefore
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, all of humans being have to equality in
society
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 where or which background come from country.
However
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, it is not reality in the most countries in the word,
For example
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, some countries in Africa, the government financial burden to a certain extent, including: agriculture, education, industrial, So there are many government priority the development agriculture, which neglect woman and children.But the downside should not be neglected.
That is
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 mainly to say, the economically disadvantaged groups should be assured of an equal chance to access the university education or work opportunities by the government. Overall, if we have equality
society
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 where all individuals have the same of opportunities for Achievements.The ideas that
people
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 are free to aim for personal throughout their own best qualities will work

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Public sector
  • 2. Societal well-being
  • 3. Compensation
  • 4. Perceived societal value
  • 5. Market demand
  • 6. Supply and demand
  • 7. Economic benefits
  • 8. Talent migration
  • 9. Ethical implications
  • 10. Equitable distribution
  • 11. Top talent
  • 12. Essential services
  • 13. Societal importance
  • 14. Public demand
  • 15. Fairness in compensation
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